Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Fortuity

The theme of my Memorial Day weekend was sitting back and "riding life" (thanks Erica). The entire weekend I watched while everything just work out in my favor. Praise God, Karma, whatever and all. I'm happy my 4 day weekend went by slowly. Saturday night was a key night during which my eyes were open to the power of fortuity.

After my cousin's college graduation, I met up with my boy Jason at this spot on the waterfront. When I parked near the Wharf I ran into the host of the BBQ I planned on going to the next day. He mentioned he just had some drinks and he was going to the Wharf to pick up somethings then head to Left Bank in Adam's Morgan. I told him I would eventually end up in Adam's and would meet him there.

Jason, another of ours friend and I had some drinks and listened to a bad cover band while we enjoyed the breeze off the water. Our friend left shortly before Jason and I decided to search aimlessly for parking around Adam's Morgan. After searching so long we both had to use the restroom so bad that we just went to the nearest bar. That bar happened to be the Common Share (read "I Definitely Cincoed my De Mayo" post if you haven't already).

We had already partied with a crew there last night so everyone just greeted us like it was Cheers! We do our thing and decide to have a drink before hitting up Left Bank. Soon after a crew of women walk in. A large crew. The hottest one, amy, went around me to get to the bar then notice I was... admiring her. She turned apologized for cutting in front of me not noticing that jason and I had drinks in our hands...LOL.

Jason and I beat the odds. He as my wingman took on the 9 on 2 odds and left the Common Share to join them at Roxanne/The Brass Monkey. We get there and wait in line. An angry foreign guy came to the doorman and said his line was too long. He of course wanted to split our crew up which was now rolling 12 deep. So the foreign guy tugs on my arm a bit to take us to the other door... with a longer line. Whatever. Annoyed about the odd aggressive touching but we rolled. The foreign guy apparently didn't warn the other door man about the rush of people who would be coming with him up the stairs. Of course he stopped ME, but grabbing my arm so hard i almost skipped a step. So I'm pissed. In an angry tone this ass asks what's going on. I'm pissed so I replied in an angry tone the situation and how unprofessional these guys were being. Long story short, I was such an ass that the foreign guys kicked me out upon reaching the top of the stairs because he didn't like what I was saying about their stupid and aggressive behavior. Come to find out later in the night that they were assholes to a lot of people. I don't like being treated like cattle... sorry... part of being HUMAN!

Jason and I were about to end the night after the ultimate cock-block by the doormen. Then we decided to meet up with my co-worker at Left Bank. That didn't last long because we couldn't find my friend. So we had a quick drink and left to serve our craving for Jumbo slice. Overall, I was getting over the Roxanne/Brass Monkey experience after overhearing some other people bitch about those guys. It would seem the timing was perfect because Amy and one other friend comes walking towards us. 2 on 2 were better odds. We exchanged info and bitched about the doormen.

Jason and I are wowed by the time. Had we not gotten jumbo slice that wouldn't have happened. If we had found my friend in Left Bank that wouldn't have happened. Had we gone home it definitely wouldn't have happened. The freakin' fortuitous night didn't end there. Four women came up to us to share our jumbo slice and I was able to repay Jason by being his wingman. The entire weekend was awesome because of us just riding life. Greatest advice I've received in a long time...

FIN

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Powerful Stuff

Monday, May 07, 2007

"Definitely Cincoed my de mayo!"

[Names have been changed to protect the drunken]

Friday night was exciting enough. The night led me to meet some of the crew at the Common Share and led another friend of mine to the back of a police cruiser for pissing on it.

However the night after, Saturday May 5, 2007 better known as Cinco De Mayo proved to be more eventful. After a hellish afternoon at work I couldn't wait to meet my friends at the Common Share. To add to Cinco De Mayo craziness, which in America has turned into another excuse to drink heavily, the De La hoya/Merriweather fight was going to be shown on all screens at our favorite bar.

After cabbing it to the bar from work, I join up with "Jan" and "Jim" while the scrub matches were on the screens. To honor the cinco de mayo American way tradition I began to drinking Coronas then we moved to Shock & Awes (if you don't know don't ask). Jan was all about the rum and coke (then a shock & awe) and Jim would settle for nothing less than a long island. Now i could tell that Jim had gotten a head start on us at home, but he seemed fine at that point. All of us were doing some major flirtin' with some of the other bar flies while listening to people argue with one another on how Merriweather would win the fight. Our favorite Bartender "Sam" was off that night so he joined us on the other side of bar to drink and watch the fight. Much alcohol, tequila shots and merriment was had... at first.

ROUND 1: The fight began and so did the craziness. It wasn't even midnight when the crowd open up from the back to make way for a bouncer practically carrying a man who had gotten too drunk. Jim did come to mind since last time I was at the bar with him he got ridiculously drunk to the point where that same bouncer had to ask me to take him home. "No way," I thought, "Not twice in a row." Oh yes! Jim was being carried out without his glasses, eyes shut. So I follow them outside as Jan and Sam continued to drink and watch the fight. The bouncer and I made sure he got a free cab home and off he went.

ROUND 2: I journeyed to the back of the bar to find Jim's glasses. All I could find were the frames with one lens. Poor guy, the bouncer said he "just fell out" so I have no clue how the glasses ended up on the ground. I walk back to Sam and Jan. Jan grabs me and says, "Please don't let me do anything stupid... I'm so f**ked up right now." Normally this meant just make sure she doesn't go home with a random dude. Which also meant Melvinator = cockblocker. Whatever she's my best friend I can be branded such a title for her. So we're watching the fight. I'm so into it I didn't notice Sam and Jan race back an available the bathroom. When I noticed the first thing I thought was, "oh crap... I totally didn't keep my promise and now she's throwing herself on Sam." Not to say that Sam would accept, but Jan is fine! Not to many people could resist. Of course, I didn't know how drunk Jan was until I knocked on the bathroom door. Sam opened the door after I gave the impression that I thought they were getting busy in the nasty ass common share men's room (closet really). Upon the door swinging open there Jan was slumped over the toilet with Sam holding her hair back screaming, "It's not that type of party man she's sick." I promptly apologize to my fellow Scorpio and took over. So Jan's doing her thing all the way through the fight as Sam comes back and forth checking on her. Dudes banged on the door promptly at the end of the fight and Jan was still not well. Sam came back again and we were able to get her in a cab.

ROUND 3: Sam stayed and I went with Jan to make sure she got home okay. The driver was odd at first. He almost didn't drive us to Maryland and wouldn't listen to me when I said that she was throwing up and we needed a plastic bag. It wasn't until she threw up in my brown leather jacket that the cabby pulled over and ran to the trunk for a trash bag. So we got to Maryland and I got Jan upstairs. I told her I'd get her car, bring it to her spot and crash on her futon.

Round 4: After giving the cabby a hefty tip I hunted for Jan's car in the mess of drunkin' Adam's Morgan bar flies. It was just where she said it was. I drove off and thought I should stop by the Share to tell Sam that Jan was cool and in bed. I park the car and ran to the Share for no good reason. At that point, I realized I was not in the most sober shape either. I ran into Sam and take the banter from the bouncer who assisted Jim out of the bar. Who do I see at my left? A woman who was suppose to join us for the fun but never showed. She had a box of Jumbo Slice in her hand and recognized me. Upon offering her a ride to the party that was awaiting her return with fresh pizza I realize that I forgot where I parked Jan's car. She patiently walked up and down the streets near the Common share in hopes that I would (one) sober up (and two) find the car. After 15 min. of searching I suddenly remembered I parked near the Hilton and ran from there.

Round 5: After hitting on the poor woman who was so patient with me in finding the car, I dropped her off on the way back to Jan's crib. "Finally I can sleep," I said realizing my sudden and strong urge to use a bathroom. I was almost at the door ... ALMOST... Alas, I ask Jan for some sweat pants and no doubt went commando in them to 7-11 to buy Tide and grab some quarters for the laundry room. Something told me to call Jim to make sure he was home okay.

Final Round: Jim informed me he is at the nearest hospital. He apparently diverted the cab we put him in to the hospital for some physical problems he's been having. When I asked how he expected to get home he said he didn't know. Despite the fact that her head spinning and she was laying in bed, I asked Jan if I could pick up Jim, take him to his car in Adam's Morgan and guide his drunk ass home in her car. She agreed and I was off... commando... to the hospital and then to Adams Morgan... AGAIN! We located Jim's car. To my surprise it was two cars away from where I lost Jan's car. So I guide him to his apartment, went back to Jan's, finish the emergency laundry job can FINALLY got to crash on the futon at 5am. Did I care that I was going to work the next day in the same clothes... no. Did I have a good time... oddly yes. Will I laugh about this in the future... TOTALLY!!!

Fin.