Only The Good Die Young

Is it me or did the MTV's Real World get monotonous after the fourth or fifth season? They keep making this crap and in the same way. Throw in some random 18-25 year-olds in a house and watch the drama. Toss in a few white people, a black dude and/or one black woman, a biracial lesbian, and don't forget the gay guy and there's the formula another successful season. Survivor is the same way. Throw in the same formula for drama but have the compete. That was genius and original for the first season. After the first time watching the competition it got old. People still watch this crap. Even those 90210 and Melrose Place replacements on Fox seem to attract people to the boobtube. But shows like Dave Chappelle's Show and Family Guy die on us after one or two seasons. I'm very happy they brought Family Guy back from the dead. I love smart comedies. Shows that have a satirical and/or sarcastic view of life do it for me. Shows that are the opposite, ignorant view of life and monotonous, piss me off. Oh well. That's life. We'll miss you Dave! Thanks for showing us that not everyone is just simply trying to "feed the idiot box."

True love, A theory proven wrong or just crazy ass people?

The title of this post could be misleading if you read the rest without clicking on this link.
These are the people I pose the question about: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/12/courthouse.shooting/index.html

One of my exes is notorious for keeping in touch with all of her exes. No surprise that she is the only ex-girlfriend I remained close friends with. Anyway, she's all the way in Phoenix worrying about an ex-boyfriend in her hometown (Mobile, Al.) marrying a white woman. So that meant we had to have THAT discussion. That discussion that every black man who truly doesn't care about other people's business dreads. We have had the discussion before. I'd rather have it with her (again) because she has dated white boys in high school. I have dated white girls and women as well when I was dating for fun. We both agree there is nothing like a black sig. other to come to when the world is on your back in that special way.

I know I can only marry a black woman. I don't base that decision on the almost 500 year history of clashes between European and African cultures. I don't open up a history book, watch Bamboozled or read The Souls of Black Folks and say,"See that's why I won't marry a white woman." I don't base my decision on any one person who did me wrong or who did right by me. I really don't base my decision on what I call "outside the relationship issues" interracial couples deal with day-to-day. Been there, done that and could care less about what people think. I wouldn't be Melvin if I did. I base my decision on the fact that I don't want to come home to someone who sympathize with the struggle. I want someone to truly understand automatically. I want someone to truly walk with me. I don't want to have to force someone from a race of people programmed to think one way for 500 years to learn how I've been programmed to think. Their is a severe difference between slave mentality and slave master mentality. Hate to break it to some people but those two mentalities are still within our communities and think (another blog for another time).

It's a little like my reasoning behind an age gap. I don't have time to teach someone younger nor do I want to someone older trying to teach me based on their life experiences. I need an equal. God's plan for marriage demands that two are equally yoked. I believe that also means in ideology, lifestyle and mental age among other characteristics.

Back to the point, I find it funny that my ex in Phoenix would agree with what I just wrote, but takes it a bit further. She believes a white person will not stick my a black spouse when during trials and tribulations. She feels that a white spouse is not equipped to go through hell or high water with a black spouse. Furthermore, she said that interracial couples make up about 2% of marriages and have the exact same divorce rate as "regular marriages" (60%). Therefore, interracial marriages don't last. A nice statistic. It sounds correct, but I won't back it until I find it during my own research. I can't completely agree with that for two reasons.

ONE
The children of interracial marriages: I still wonder sometimes how it was when the first Irish and German decided to mate. Or how society reacted to (let's be real) slaves and former slave jumping the broom with a native Americans. Granted there is little history of hostility between the two groups of groups, but I can't look past the fact that no one cares. Is it because it was so frequent that we had no choice? I understand that society looks at black and white biracial people and ask,"Who do you identify with, black or white?" Simple answer: Both. What people are really asking is "On which side of slavery's history do you stand?" That's the paradox. It's not about skin tone it's about cultures. The walking paradoxes are living proof that one day society will have no choice but to recognize that cultures can be mixed. Therefore, it's not impossible.

Today? Again, I don't have time in my life to deal with it. Plus, I would like to see more growth in the black community and less assimilation before cultures merge. The only way to see growth in anything is from the root. The root is the family ('nough said).

TWO
Marriage: Those who toy with marriage as an idea, just think it's fun OR those who turn it into a simple legal binding contract are doomed anyway from my standpoint (black couples, white couples, interracial couples whatever). Those who believe that marriage is two people coming together in the name of God and/or for true love have a better chance obviously. Who in the world am I to say that a couple married out of lust just by glimpsing at an interracial couple. Who am I to say that a couple isn't equally yoked. I can't assume things. Call it my journalist and Christian programming. Forgive me for believing that people marry because they love each other and/or want to do right by God before assuming otherwise. If I learn otherwise that's fine, but to assume right off the bat is not my style.

Keying back to the beginning and the title, I found my exes theory interesting until I remembered that George Hyatte and Jennifer Forsyth Hyatte, the interracial modern-day Bonnie and Clyde, were caught in Ohio earlier that evening. (In case you didn't click first like I told you to: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/12/courthouse.shooting/index.html) I asked her what about this couple. This white woman allegedly helped plan and carry out the deadly escape of her black husband. She will probably do time for him. HECK she even took a bullet in the leg for him (sounds like a bad Ja Rule song). I don't know of any woman who will do that for the me. I would say that that is going through hell and high water for him. I pose the question again. True love, a theory proven wrong or just crazy ass people? All of the above.

Sidebar: Crazy and dumbass people
1: Come on. These idiots thought they could escape U.S. marshals in the Bible belt.
2: I swear it was her dumb idea to catch a cab from Erlanger, KY to Columbus. No black male fugitive in their right mind would go through Kentucky to Ohio from Tennessee with a white woman. So I thought.
3: You would think they would have switched cars and he'd say, "Baby we need to go east to blend in. Let's rob a bank and go shopping in NY." Hell after I got stopped and detained in Kentucky for DWB (Driving While Black if you forgot) it took a few weeks for me to go back through by myself.

Homecoming/Small Towns

Situation ONE: The day I drove back to the DC-area was an eventful day. After finally getting my car from the shop for it's finally repair job (Laugh it up Carrie), I stuffed the rest of my crap in the car and hit the road. I found the temporary corporate housing complex around 11pm, an hour before I was suppose to meet my boys Kevin (current my roommate) and Jason. I rushed to unstuff my car and shower off the travel funk off. So I drove to Adams Morgan, an area of eclectic bars and restaurants, and ran into three former college schoolmates. We greeted each other with the normal dap of black men who haven't seen each other in a while and went on about our business. Meet up with my boys, met Jason's girl (and friends) and drank a well deserved Red Stripe (hurray beer!). Here comes another Howard alumnus down the stairs whom with we all greet and hold a conversation. I didn't notice his date/neighbor in the dim and shadowy part of the area where we were standing. Someone slaps me up-side the head from that shadowy part. OF COURSE it's his date/neighbor who I...well... had relations with. They both currently live across the street from me. We talk for a bit and then we all leave. My crew decided to go across the street to another bar when someone else from the past yelled, "MELVIN!" It was yet another classmate from Howard. Amazing. In just 2 hours I ran into three different circles of people form the same University.

Situation TWO: Co-worker Jon and I finally had a chance to have some beers and talk. We met through our mutual friend, Carrie. We'd only been able to talk via email beforehand since we work in different departments and on different schedules. We talk about various drinking stories, work, page design, page designers in the industries we both know, etc. I find out that main person from the area he knows is his cousin Jason. He mentions he is from Northern Virginia. Jon told me Jason's last name and it clicked. We went to high school together. I graduated a year after him I believe.

SITUATION THREE: Ah the salsa spots of DC. Very diverse yet plenty of regulars depend on which spot you go to. We chose Yuca. Weeks before this particular incident we went to Yuca to try it out. It was mad fun and I found that my skills improved (slightly). That first time in Yuca I tried to get the bartender's attention. He looked familiar. He yelled, "MELVIN!" It was an old co-worker from my restaurant days. Amazing. Another circle of people I touched on in a matter of two weeks.

I digress...this particular incident beats all incidents. The second time the crew went to Yuca around the time I get off of work on Saturdays. The intern and I decided to walk since the Post is right down the street. We stop to get some cash and my boys text me, "We're in." I text back, "Cool be there in 10 minutes." I spot my friends as soon as I walk in the club. In trying to dodge spinning chicks and dudes on the dance floor the first person I made eye contact with (in mid-spin) was ANOTHER ...umm.. person I've had relations with! I haven't had that many women in my life to continue to randomly run into them. I tell my boys and they sarcastically react,"NO! we hadn't notice." My immediate response was "[Forget] yall!" Jason's girlfriend said,"I told them to tell you when they texted you." The song ended and she comes over and was surprisingly friendly. Let's just say we didn't leave things on the best terms. It appears that life takes us through things and changes our outlook on other things. So I added her back on my prayer list, danced and chillaxed with my friends and new favorite bartender.

WHAT IS GOING ON! One of the many many reasons for leaving Cincinnati was because of the intersecting circles of people synonymous with living in a smaller town. Does that make DC (area) a small town for me now?

I've been going over it in my head how to descibe coming home. Many have heard me refer to Cincinnati as a small town trying to be a big city. When you walk down the same block and frequent the same bars, clubs, restaurants, and social events for three years you seem to notice the same circles of people. That seems to be true in any city or town. Yet in Cincy you seem to run into the same people circles whether you branch out of the normal spots or not. I hated that. too many people would be in my business. For example, before I could go to a weekly martini night for the first time, people had already knew someone that knew someone that went out with this one, who I use to date, who hates me now and yadda yadda yadda. My efforts to get away from the same circles were as successful as my efforts to "blend in" in that wonderful Midwestern town.

What's killing me is that I realized that I have (one) never been able to run in just one circle of friends. It's boring and doesn't fit my personality. And (two) because of that fact it's more difficult for me to get away from the circles I'm exposed to. The reason I don't feel as trapped as I did in Cincinnati is because there's a plethora of people to hang out with here in this area. Yes, that simple revelation took a few sentences. Forgive me. THANKS for reading. :)
And for a corny ending: It's a small world after all.

Too old to party?

I am posting my Tuesday, June 14, 2005 blog again on this address. My old account is screwy so I was forced to create another. New posts coming soon. Enjoy.

Never thought it could happen so soon. I took a break from drinking for a few months (ok cutback). Here I am celebrating my departure from the Cincinnati Enquirer and I can't seem to find the alcohol tolerance I once had. Seven days of partying wouldn't faze me back in the day. Now it seems that I am not immune to the aging process. Melvinatorfest began Friday night at the Plum Street Cafe. We didn't have that much time to drink much so I woke up the next morning feeling great.Saturday's seven-hour Hofbrauhaus celebration left me with a hangover. I can't understand it. I was good. I drank water and ate food so why do I have a hangover from beer. There was a time when I could drink several mixed drinks (well liquor too) for several days straight and not feel a thing. It was bad enough to have a hangover. My normal rememdies were not working as fast. Water, coffee, Micky D's and ibprofen tablets usually help me recover in an hour. I didn't recover until 6pm. Me!!!On Sunday, after Austin (Sarah Conard's fiance) and I watched Star Wars III, we stopped at Gameworks for some beer and games. The instant I saw the bartender pour Austin's beer my stomache reminded the rest of my body how long it took to recover that morning. I had to settle for a Red Bull. I have to take days off from drinking now. ME!!!Yesterday evening Melvinatorfest continued at Plum Street Cafe. Former boss Kathy McDermott ran a tab for all of us. I had about four beers in total last night and was total cool driving home. This morning these guys from Guinea who keep calling for some name I can't pronounce (wrong number) woke me up at 7am. My head was throbbing. I'm still in recovery as I type this blog. Tonight is the VNV Nation concert. I may have to Red Bull it.